Currently Reading Dry : A Memoir By Augusten Burroughs see related

Marianne - Boo, xanga's been a dump lately.  This week has been inconvienant for me.  I'm doing my damndest to stay positive.  The reality is it's my own fault so any blame comes right back to me anyway.  The gist is this ... my car got repo'd ...

I could make excuses and say it's because of this and that and what not but the fact remains the same.  I could say it wasn't really that late to begin with blah blah blah and that I had the money to pay for it when it got taken I'd just procrastinated it but again ... it doesn't change the fact it's gone.  I don't really feel I have any right to bitch because some people work their whole lives and never have a car ... much less two brand new one's ... so I think I should just accept it and press on.  I'm going car shopping this weekend too so God willing the debacle will have only lasted one week.  

Everything truly does happen for a reason ... I believe ... so this is all part of a greater plan.  It's merely been a inconvenience in my life this week.  The 2 hour commute to work.  Bleeeeeh.  Riding the buses and subway for the first time in years ... walking the necessary 2 miles.  It's been a bit cold so if anything - when or if I get the new wheels this weekend I sure the hell won't miss a payment for quite some time. 

I have a friend who works for a Toyota dealership in Virginia so we're going to go through the process later today and tomorrow to see what we can do. 

I watched my hero Oprah the other day and saw the people of India where they work 10 and 12 hours a day mining salt fields etc. for 50 cents a day (and this is the women, imagine what the men do)... they have families and children to raise ... and I work for this mortgage company on my ass all day making $17/hour without even having a college degree .... I promise you I have it 50 times easier than those and so many other people could ever imagine.  I got myself into a situation ... inconvenient?  ... yes ... am I entitled to bitch?  Not for a single moment. 

All my love & best wishes,      ---eddie---

  So long Anastacia ... we had some good times.  St Louis ... the trip out here ... countless treks to Dallas ... that 80 mile stretch from Holdenville to Oklahoma City the 500 times we travelled it ... concerts ... theme parks ... shopping malls ... so forth and so on ... press on girl ... press on ...

PS - I had a date last Saturday, went well ... another one this weekend (same guy) ... I'll keep ya posted on what happens ...

Currently Listening Day One By Sarah Slean see related

Marianne - 

All things said it was a very nice weekend.  We really enjoyed ourselves.  I for one was oh so glad to be back home of course.  It seems anytime I am away it solidifies my thoughts that I made a great decision moving back here.  I feel at total peace in my life here.  I talked to my mom on Monday to tell her that I was in Orlando, Florida and would be back home the next evening.  They told me that the family had put my grandmother in the nursing home.  For those of you who know me or my grandmother for that matter, it was especially hard for me to digest.  I lost my other 3 grandparents earlier in life.  Around 10, 13 and 14 respectivelly.  When I lost my other grandmother around the 13 age mark it deeply affected me (still does).  I was affected by her spouse too but not to the same degree.  I'd been the favorite of the other grandmother and it was perhaps one of the hardest things I've ever endured.  I've got to that level with this grandmother over the past 5 years and it's difficult to think of losing anyone but especially when your on such a deep level. 

They say they put her in there only until she builds her strength back and then she can come home.  It's hard to believe that day will come.  Perhaps it's the cynical side of me but before the surgery I went home for in December she still worked 3 hours a day and was extremely active.  Since the surgery 2 and 1/2 months ago she has been in the hospital 4 times for extended stays (she'd never been before aside the pregnancys).  She also has lost close to 50 pounds and can't hardly move.  Her strength has deteriorated.  They say again she is just their to get herself back on her feet ... but how often does that really happen?  I hate to say it but people going to nursing homes 9 out of every 10 times to die.  The other 10% is because they are lonely or have no-one to look after them.  She isn't lonely and she does have help to see after her just not 24 hours a day.  I'm still praying for the best but it's hard to see any light at the end of this long tunnel we've been in. 

I don't want any poor Eddie moments ... just keep her in your thoughts and hope for a recovery if you'd like to help.  That means more than anything.   

OK -  Well lets catch up.  Left Saturday morning for Orlando, Florida.  David's roommate picked me up at the airport, Ryan.  We had an hour to kill before David and Scotty arrived in town.  When they got home David cooked us some steaks and such.  Had a nice meal hung out ... showered and went out to Pulse.  Stayed there for an hour I'd say then went to The Fire House I think it was called.  Much spacier and a lot more going on as it was later.  Scott and I kicked back quite a few cocktails and danced several jigs around the floor.  Tony Moran was in town spinning and he did a grand job.  After that we went and crashed.  Sunday we unloaded the things David had brought back to Florida from Oklahoma and placed them in Ryan's room.  Cleaned up and went shopping.  First we went to the nice mall and perused Dior, Gucci and all the labels.  Afterwards we went to the upscale outlet mall and perused Burberry, Barneys New York, French Connection so forth and so on.  I ended up with two pairs of slacks (which I look uber fierce in) and two shirts. 

After the mall we drove out to Cocoa Beach.  Put our toes in the sand and collected some seashell's.  At that point we went to this restaurant to eat.  It's right on the ocean so the food is oh so fresh.  I had some great tuna with sides.  Complete with adult beverage (it was a vaccation after all)  then back to Orlando to rest up (for one hour) and then clean off and go to a 3rd gay retreat.  The Parliament House.  It's like the Habana ... for those in OKC.  A gay hotel for those not.  It's complete with a drag room and show, a video room, a pool and courtyard area and a dancehall.  They had every kind of person you would ever think of.  The twink (tenderoni) the troll, the chub, the chaser, the leather man, the bald pervert lookin guy, the model, the dirty, the pretentious and so on.  Left around 2 and went to bed. 

Then comes Monday ... Jumped up and went to Epcot Center and then Disney World.  We only had 8 hours which is a long time but to see all of the attractions you'd need like 3 days ... just for the 2 parks alone.  In order to go to all of the parks you'd need the full week.  That being said we made the most of it and squeezed in what we could in our 8 hours.  Completing the night with the famed parade of lights and fireworks over Cinderella's castle.  Home to bed and then off to flight the next morning. 

Again it was a great weekend all things considered.  I was ready to be home but I would go back and visit anytime.  It's weird to go from 20 to 40 degree's DC to 75 to 65 degree Florida ... in FEBRUARY!  It's snowing here again today ... and I'll consider that my welcome wagon.  Hope everyone's well ...

until the next time,  --eddie--

Currently Listening Birds By Bic Runga see related

love is in the air?

Happy Valentine Day Peeps!

Tis the season?  ... of love?  I used to loathe Valentine's Day for all the obvious reasons.  I was alone year in and year out ... I hated seeing all of the couples lovey dovey'ing it up and shoving it down your throat.  Then I became friends with someone who LOVED the day.  Oddly enough this friend wasn't the emotional or lovey dovey type, yet he loved the day.  So I got to where I actually enjoyed it. 

You can always focus on the negative.  You can always feel sorry for yourself and your singledom.  OR........... you can spread LOVE ... it doesn't say it has to be to a significant other and quit being so selfish and mad because you don't have someone doesnt mean everyone else shouldn't either.   Everyone's day will come in time.

love your friends.

love your family.

love your life.

or sit there and feel sorry for yourselves ...

either way, you have my love ... do with it as you will ...

-eddie-

  I got tickets to see James Blunt on March 13th ... YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

Also I'll be going to Orlando, FL this weekend so wish me a safe trip!

Currently Listening In My Mind By Heather Headley see related

"Sick of the poor me Bullshit"

Well I haven't vented or went on a tangent in quite some time so I figured I was due. The main thing thats annoying the shit out of me right now is how self-absorbed the 30 and younger United States is. Now we ALL have poor pitiful me day's. We all have look at me, think of me, remember me, oh god - why me days ... but some of us have them FAR TOO OFTEN. Do you ever read your subscription lists? Just go through them one day. YOU WILL RARELY find anything positive or about anyone aside the main character (blog owner). It's depressing! Again ... I do the same thing quite often but I do try to add other tidbit's of useless or educational information just to keep it different.

Now these are blogs, online journals ... so obviously they're supposed to be filled with our thoughts and the events of our lives, that is the purpose ... but bare in mind this ... they are open to viewing by millions in cyber land. So how personal does it really need to be? Let me just challenge anyone who read's this - at the end of the next pity party posting of para-phrased propaganda to add just one teeny tidbit of educational or heartwarming verbiage.

A couple of weeks ago I joined MySpace... not because I just can't get enough online blogging but because a large assortment of my friends were on there and I got sick of not being able to see the pictures they were telling me about. So I joined and conformed to the masses. I always have and probably always will hate doing the "cool" thing to do. Consider it the Leo in me. Everyone and the mother that shot them into the world is on MySpace. Rest assured the blogs aren't anymore cheery or profound over there. Which makes me ask this ... are we that mesmerized by sad stories? failures and friendly fire? Why do we subscribe and read all this if we don't get something out of it? After all, it all does come back to us now doesn't it?

If I read one more "my life is in shambles" posting or "I hate being single" soliloquy ...I'm most likely going to lose my lunch. It's inevitable they will happen ... it's inevitable I will even post some ... all I ask ... beg even ... is to add one glimmer .... one smidgen of hope or optimism to the next torturing tale of text. I mean seriously, not one person in the world doesn't have shit going on in their life ... not ONE person. You (and I) are not the only one's who have been broken-hearted ... lost family members ... felt alone and cried themselves to sleep ... been cheated on ... have a disease ... lost a job ... been raped ... abused ... faced addiction ... stolen from ... broken a bone ... someone somewhere has it 10 times worse than you could ever dream. *Further proof that we're too self involved is many of you stopped reading during the scenario's above to think ... "is he talking about me?"

Someone somewhere is starving to death while at the same living with Aid's and never have been nor never will receive any food or any medication to help cope and fight off some of the virus that's killing them at every breath. The dilemma they face is what's going to kill them first? Hunger or the disease? Someone somewhere was hit by a drunk driver and set on fire in a tragic car crash... smelt and felt their own flesh burning off and was spared only to have to see themselves everyday and relive it every single day in their mind's for the rest of their lives.

I mourn a little bit this week at the passing of Coretta Scott King, who was a Civil Rights Pioneer. A beautiful woman inside and out. She stood side by side with her husband while he spoke the words nobody dared to speak at a time when it was forbidden. His effort's with her support helped change the entire nation as we know it. She didn't sit at home sobbing day after day when he was murdered - saying how could this happen to me. She fought stronger and harder to obtain all of the things she and husband had fought for while he was alive. To continue to get the message across. She spoke out for all types of people ... because he had said he dreamt of a day when "all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands" ... she spoke out for Gay Rights ... not because she was GAY but because she honestly felt all men and women were created equal. A life like her's and her husband's who defied all the rules and odds just to speak their message doesn't come along too often. And that in itself is the saddest thing of all ... We all need to stop bitching and we truly could start a revolution or make a difference ... and in that we could find the solace we think we lost with the abuse, the betrayal, the disease, the broken heart or bone, the rape, the addiction, the battle of every day life. We might not change the world but you'd at the very least change YOUR life.

with love,   --Eddie-- 

  Coretta Scott King was 78 years old. 

Currently Watching Red Eye (Full Screen Edition) By Brian Cox, Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy see related

Marianne - what a crap-tastic weekend.  Things started off Thursday when I bolted out of work on time at 5:30.  Pleased that I was getting away on time I smiled all the way outside ... then as I looked at my lil SUV and noticed it was leaning (badly) to the front left my smile quickly abandon ship.  So I had a flat ... not the end of the world.  I hadn't had one in some time so I suppose I was due.  There was still some light outside so I tried to act quickly and get it resolved and get on home. 

Long story short I had multiple problems removing the tire and had to call roadside assistance ... by the time he got it repaired (took him 20 minutes) it was 8pm.  2 and one half hours in the 20 degree weather.  Hurray!  Drove home on the donut ... tried to take it to be fixed Friday after work and couldn't find the place.  Went home and dealt with it Saturday morning.  The tire place couldnt find a leak on the tire or a hole and advised me the valve was good too so apparently someone had let the air out of it intentionally.  They filled it with air and I went home to change it myself in order to absorb any cost.  Pumped it up off the ground and with the way my car was parked on the street the jack wouldnt go high enough.  Dark came so I waited till Sunday and used my roomie's jack in the front and got it taken care of. 

It rained Sunday morning so I am covered in grease, mud and moisture ... looking quite man-ish in my Reebok sweatshirt and carpenter jeans.  I hadn't shaved in 4 days so I had major facial hair ... It was a sight to see ... the most man-ish I'll ever look I'm sure.  I lower the jack and realize the tire keeps going lower and lower and lower.  It's FUCKIN FLAT AGAIN!   I pump it back up and put the donut BACK on for the 4th fucking time.  Sooo, today I am taking somewhere and saying FIX IT.  I'm sick of dealing with it. 

Watched Red Eye and a couple of other things.  Didn't go anywhere really cuz my tire was jacked up ... so all and all aside my tire tirade it was an uneventful weekend.  This weekend I am pretty sure I am going to Velvet because DJ Rick Mitchell is in town.  I saw him like 5 years ago and was simply put BLOOOOWN AWAY.  I've kept up with him through his website and cd's but it's always better to go see the one's you love live! 

The weekend after that is Ms. Baltimore pageant in ... well... Baltimore.  So I think I am going to go to that.  Assuming I don't have any more vehicle trouble by then.  And then it will be President's Day weekend after that and I am SUPPOSED to be in Orlando, Florida for that with Scotty ... so things are apparently going to be getting pretty busy ...

until next time,  ---eddie---

Congrats to Felicity Huffman for being nominated not only for the Golden Globe (which she won) but also the Screen Actor's Guild Award (SAG) for her role in Transamerica!  I hope she nail's the Oscar too for the Hat Trick. 

and the final thing to mention that I am SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY about is ...

More new tour rumours
Posted: 26 January 2006 - From Yahoo! Music

According to unsubstantiated claims appearing online, the pop superstar Madonna, will play shows throughout June and July in America, including five dates at Shea Stadium in New York City. The news comes amid industry reports that promotional king-pin Arthur Fogel has been signed for the live follow-up to last year's 'Re-Invention' tour.
Fogel, who put together the 'Re-Invention' jaunt and the 2001 'Drowned World' tour, is said to be fronting the 2006 outing, which will promote last year's 'Confessions On A Dance Floor' album, reports Billboard.
The tour, which is set to commence in America, apparently spans the globe, concluding with shows in Australia in mid to late September.

* She also flew to Paris for Jean Paul Gaultier's fashion show and a quick meeting.  She hasn't been to one of her favorite's (Jean Paul's) shows in year's but I can't help but think it was to discuss wardrobe for the tour.  Perhaps speculation on my behalf but I'd be willing to bet the farm on it.  If only I had a farm ...

   the infamous Madonna ...